Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Repost: When it rains, it's four!
Read this aloud, mwahahaha!
*****************************************************************************************
When it rains, it's four!
I just had to share...
We've been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same almamother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulp bits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me.
He said, *"I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?"*
Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw.
Sabi ko, *"Connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch?"
*"The!?!!??". ..* ang sarcastic na sagot nya. ** Aba! The verb! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in this guy. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we should go ouch na rin.
Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. After 2weeks, he plopped the question. *"Will you marriage me?"* I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.
Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, *"Well, well, well. Look do we have here."* What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. As is!!! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, *"please, mine you own business!"* Who would believe her anyway?
Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said like twice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, *"Look at is this way. She's our of our lives."
Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts and I'm sure you have a few tricks up your sleeves. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.
*****************************************************************************************
When it rains, it's four!
I just had to share...
We've been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same almamother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulp bits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me.
He said, *"I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?"*
Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw.
Sabi ko, *"Connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch?"
*"The!?!!??". ..* ang sarcastic na sagot nya. ** Aba! The verb! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in this guy. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we should go ouch na rin.
Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. After 2weeks, he plopped the question. *"Will you marriage me?"* I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.
Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, *"Well, well, well. Look do we have here."* What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. As is!!! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, *"please, mine you own business!"* Who would believe her anyway?
Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said like twice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, *"Look at is this way. She's our of our lives."
Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts and I'm sure you have a few tricks up your sleeves. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
How Did You Know - Gary Valenciano
One of my favorite love songs from Gary V. I even used this for our wedding coz I think it evokes the sentiments that I had at that moment. Beautifully written.
*************************************************************************************************************
The day that you came into my life
You asked for my name
You had the most beautiful smile
My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right by my side
Makes me feel things will work out just fine
How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there's an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life
I'll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worries and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much
I love you.
How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there's an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life
I'll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worries and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much
I love you.
Repost: An Open Letter To My Son’s College Choices
From http://alwaysmomof4.wordpress.com
We are playing the waiting game at my house. Merrick has applied to the colleges of his choice and is now waiting to hear back from them. One of the schools he applied to asked for a letter of recommendation from the parents. They wanted the perspective of the person/people who would talk of the early years and personality of the applicant. When I read their request I cried. I was being asked to weigh in and support my son’s application and frankly there are days when I don’t know how I’ll let him go. Sometimes even the thought of Merrick going off to school makes me physically ill, but at the same time I want what’s best for my son. I will not be a hinderance to his dreams. I realized that the only way I would be able to write a letter of recommendation, is to ask a request of all the schools. Below is my open letter to all of them.
Dear College of my son’s choice,
My son Merrick has applied to your school and is hopeful that he will be accepted. You invited parents to write letters of recommendation for their child. Your request is based on the fact that most students when applying concentrate on the ages of 14-17 and parents can give a long-range look and perspective on the applicant. I’m quite willing to write a letter for my child. I appreciate the wisdom and sensitivity in your request. Before I do so however, I have a request of my own. Please watch over my child. He is eager to leave home and enter the world of academia and freedom that college allows. I watch his anticipation and enthusiasm and am confronted with my own mixture of excitement and apprehension.
When his older brother Jordan went off to Amherst College, his dad and I could not have been prouder. Jordan chose a school that was the perfect fit for him. We watched him attenuate to college life with vigor and ease. He entered his sophomore year excited to have a single room, ready to pursue a major in Political Science and looking forward to the future. I often joked with him that I was living vicariously through him as he talked of studying abroad either in Costa Rica or London. His future seemed boundless. Seemed. When we received the news that Jordan had been killed in a car accident just 20 miles from his college campus shock and sorrow took hold of us, the grip of which I still feel today.
Now it is time for another of my children to fulfill their dreams and goals. Merrick has worked so hard to be an attractive candidate for your college. A finer student, scholar, and most importantly compassionate human being you won’t find. As he readies himself to, “be on his own,” I try and ready my heart to give the world another one of my children. Merrick comes to you an eager vessel of learning. He also comes bearing the weight of sorrow that losing his big brother and best friend brings. So, I’m finding a way, no matter how hard it is, to continue trusting that the world is a giving, safe place for my children. As unwieldy and irrational my plea is I ask you to remember it. When you see my son walking through campus, treat him with care as he fulfills his dreams and honors the legacy of his brother.
Sincerely,
Always Mom of Four
Friday, February 25, 2011
Repost: Ayala Alabang requires prescription for condoms
HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET? What should the doctor put on the prescription for condoms? Anyway, here's the news from ABS-CBN news:
By Jojo Malig, abs-cbnNEWS.com
Posted at 02/24/2011 6:45 PM | Updated as of 02/24/2011 7:31 PM
MANILA, Philippines – Barangay Ayala Alabang in Muntinlupa City is now requiring people who buy condoms to present a doctor’s prescription.
In a barangay ordinance last January 3, village officials said condoms and other contraceptives cause abortions.
The ordinance also bars teachers, reproductive health advocates, and social workers from holding sex education activities in the barangay without prior consultation with parents of students.
Local officials also banned advertisement of all forms of contraceptives in the village.
Those who approved the ordinance were barangay chairman Alfred Xerez-Burgos, Jr.; kagawads Joanna Caluglug, Alice Bacani, Maria Carmen Reyes, Ma. Soledad Tugade, Mariano Manas Jr., Apolinario delos Santos III, Giancarlo Nazario; and Sangguniang Kabataan chairman Juan Enrico Parfan.
They said “contraceptive pills, hormonal contraceptives, and the IUD may kill children and injure the health of women who use them.”
Village officials also believe that contraceptives “undermine the solidarity of families by promoting premarital sex, giving rise to more fatherless children, more single mothers, more poverty, and more abortions.”
The resolution also claims that condoms are “unconstitutional” because “they promote and sanction immoral sexual congresses among the unmarried and especially among the young, thereby contradicting the Constitutional injunction that the State ‘shall promote and protect … the physical, moral, spiritual, intellectual and social well-being of the youth.”
Aside from asking people to present a prescription before they are allowed to buy condoms in Ayala Alabang, pharmacists are required by the ordinance to record the following data in a book for “abortives and anti-conceptionals":
- Number and date of the prescription;
- Name and address of the physician;
- Name, quantity and manufacturer of the drug;
- Name and address of the purchaser;
- Date of filling the prescription; and
- Signature of the pharmacist filling the prescription.
Those who will violate the ordinance can be fined up to P500 or jailed for up to 4 months.
Village officials said foreigners who will violate the measure should also be deported.
Muntinlupa City officials have yet to comment on the ordinance.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
New Western Cuisine - Gastronomy Sans Border
My brother is a part owner and head of a food magazine in China called New Western Cuisine. It is a monthly bilingual magazine (English and Chinese) that features various chefs and recipes from different parts of the world. The photos inside are just beautiful and makes you want to eat all of them! The Magazine is geared towards professional chefs and the catering / restaurant business.
My brother recently sent me a file of testimonials from various readers of their magazines and I would like the share them here. I'm proud of you bro! Keep up the good work and more power to you and your creative team.
“New Western Cuisine” magazine embodies the definition of “New” in concepts,
trends, techniques, and artistry. May the newness of the publication unfold and shine
on its readers. – 大董 Dadong
When I think of how the East and West demonstrate flavors profiling in forms of their
respective cuisines, my mind immediately turns to “New Western Cuisine” magazine.
No other publication provides such a broad understanding and appreciation of
diversified cuisines and cultures. It has been our privilege to host Richard Xu of “New
Western Cuisine” on our Hyde Park, N.Y. campus here at the Culinary Institute of
America where he delivered a lecture with a food journalism class. Our students and
faculty were extremely impressed with the quality and depth of the content of the
magazine celebrating gastronomy of the East and West. - James H. Heisey, Exec.
Director of Development, The Culinary Institute of America, New York
“New Western Cuisine” magazine is a masterpiece of culinary ingenuity! With
Interesting articles and beautiful photos, this publication stimulates the senses and
inspires global cuisine into every reader’s home. It is a joy to see the adaptability of
Canadian cuisine into the Asian market, and vise versa. The fusion of east and west
gets the imagination racing, and the taste buds salivating! - Adrienne Grosweiner,
Senior Market Development Advisor, Business Development, Agriculture,
Government of New Brunswick, Canada
I really enjoy reading “New Western Cuisine” magazine. To date it is the best
food and professional magazine available in Asia. – Jeffrey Powell, Restaurant
Consultant, Buzz Culinary Concepts, Beijing
“New Western Cuisine” magazine is “Like a breath of fresh air” each month as I
am yet once more impressed by the beauty and elegance of each cover photo. The
amazing collage of colors, tastes, textures, style, culinary excellence, travel, luxury
and a wide variety of articles that educate “from A to Z:. “New Western Cuisine”
magazine is my favorite magazine in the world. It helps me stay in touch with the
heart and soul of everything that is China – past, present and future. - Fred Tibbitts,
Jr., Chairman & CEO, Fred Tibbitts and Associates, New York/Bangkok
“New Western Cuisine” is one of the best cuisine magazines in China. It strives to
uphold excellence in food service and culinary creativity. As a loyal reader of “New
Western Cuisine”, I am deeply impressed by the professional and in-depth reports
on Chinese and Western style cuisine, food and wine recommendations, and the
promotion of global culinary trends, etc. I am sure that “New Western Cuisine” will
continue to introduce the latest culinary trends to the Chinese people. Our best wishes
to “New Western Cuisine” for a most successful year ahead. - Chua Kian Hwa,
General Manager of China,Singapore Airlines
The Philippine Embassy in Beijing is very pleased to be associated with “New
Western Cuisine” as one of its friends. We extend our best wishes to the very strong
team behind this prestigious bilingual publication, and we acknowledge their creative
drive to bring to gastronome and the inexperienced palate alike all that is fine in
haute cuisine and regional cooking. This elegant publication as a Philippine Invested
enterprise, is a source of pride for Filipinos, as it manifests the refine and creative
spirit of the Filipino entrepreneur. - Evangeline Ong, First Secretary & Consul,
Philippine Embassy, Beijing
“New Western Cuisine” is a very special and beautiful magazine nourishing
positively the world of gastronomy and sharing with sophisticated Chinese food
enthusiasts. As high quality premium mineral waters worldwide, S. Pellegrino and
Acqua Pana want to say thank you to Richard Xu for the beautiful and outstanding
work. Best of congratulations and great future. - Clement Vachon, International
Relations, Events & Communication Manager, Gruppo San Pellegrino, Milan,
Italy
“New Western Cuisine”, a friend of Spanish food and wine in China. Since the
beginning, the magazine has been delighting lovers of great cuisine and wine with
its stylish presentation and interesting contents. Keep up the good work. - Alberto
Alonzo Diaz, Commercial Counselor, Economic and Commercial office of Spain
in Beijing
As a gourmet food magazine, “New Western Cuisine” is always willing to offer more
choices and new ideas to us. They give us a real opportunity to make new contacts
in the food industry and enhance our import product range. - Javier Ignacio Soria-
Torres, Chief Representative, IVEX, Trade Development & Promotions Agency
for the Region of Valencia, Spain
To the best F&B magazine in China, all the greetings to you from a gastronomic
loko!! Thanks for your support Richard!! Marco Sacco, Two-Star Michelin Chef
“New Western Cuisine” has been a bridge between the international culinary stage
and China for years. It has carved a niche for itself and is the only magazine of this
caliber in china, promoting international cuisine, presenting delicious and special
products, introducing people working in the culinary and hospitality arenas and
featuring the latest trends from all over the world. I salute Richard and his team for
their professionalism and dedication. On behalf of the Slovak Tourist Board, I wish
them every success in the years ahead. - Maria Boyd, China Consultant, Slovakia
Tourism Board
Fresh reporting and exquisite photography are just some of the ingredients that
make “New Western Cuisine” one of the best in their field! - Martina Groenegres,
General Manager, Lufthansa German Airlines, Beijing
“New Western Cuisine” magazine had brought wine scene to the next level. -
Rahman Lal, International Wine Sommelier; Director of Food & Beverage,
Sheraton Shanghai, Hongqiao
Dear “New Western Cuisine” and “NWC” friends: Best wishes for a sparkling Year
of the Rabbit and congratulations for the enthusiasm in discovering Italian food and
wine with us! - Alessandro Gerbino, Deputy Trade Commissioner, Italian Trade
Commission
I am offered an eye-opening escape every time I open an issue of “New Western
Cuisine” magazine. The magazine never fails to deliver. Each glossy, vibrant page
is filled with breathtaking photography and up-to-the-minute information, evoking
an intimate feeling that transports my imagination and leaves me in anticipation of
what the next page will have in store. By celebrating the best in lifestyle and cultural
affluence, “New Western Cuisine” magazine is what I look forward to throughout the
year. - Suzanne Strassburger, President, Strassburger Meats, USA
I look forward to getting every issue even when I’m not in it! Cheers! - William
Bolton, American Chef Entrepreneur
In year 2011, we look forward to more exciting contents from “New Western
Cuisine”. - Catherine Etchart, Managing Director, Sopexa Beijing
“New Western Cuisine” is more than a magazine. It is a celebration of tasteful
culinary. - Richard Lim, Marketing Manager, Philippine Airlines (Beijing)
I believe those who love the theaters will also love “New Western Cuisine” magazine.
Just as the culinary creations of chefs and my stage production both provide
pleasure to the senses, “New Western Cuisine” has delivered the fusion of art and
gastronomy in a sophisticated and wonderful way. When my appetite is low, all I
need is to go over the magazine and my senses are nourished. As “New Western
Cuisine” magazine prospers, may it serve as a unifying stage for both culinary and
the performing arts. - 关皓月、戏笑堂堂主 Guan Haoyue,Theater Director,
Xixiaotang Theater
With its sophistication, gastronomy becomes a blessing to humanity. In its artistry, the
world finds harmony. - 徐龙 Xu Long, Executive Chef, Great Hall of the People,
PRC
The “New Western Cuisine” is one of a kind publication for China food connoisseurs
and a fantastic source of new ideas and information for its readers. I am personally
very impressed by the level of professionalism and commitment to delivering the best
results that the “New Western Cuisine” team has demonstrated month after month,
article by article. Each month it is a pleasure to receive the magazine and learn more
about what is going on in the Chinese culinary scene! - Sara Vettori, Business
Development Manager for International Brands - Nestle Waters China
Congratulations on the wonderful work you and your team are doing in the magazine
– introducing innovative western cuisine and fusing it with contemporary Chinese
cuisine! Great stuff! - Vlad Reyes, GM, DoubleTree by Hilton Beijing; Bailli,
Bailliage de Pekin/Bailli Delegue, Bailliage National de Chine - Chaine des
Rotisseurs
“New Western Cuisine” is not just a magazine; its great pictures, well written
articles clear described recipes and huge variety, it is becoming a collector item. The
magazine inspires professionals, publish new ideas and combinations how to use fine
food, or turn simple items in to an excellent dish. I feel the magazine achieved to
build the bridge between Chefs, Masters and commis. It builds bridges between the
Western, Middle-east and Asian cuisines. I do recommend “New western Cuisine”
to all professionals and those who want to become one. This high-class magazine
captured the attention of the masters of Connoisseurs. Congratulation to the great
and creative work put together in each one issue of “New Western Cuisine” - Beat
Müller, Conseiller Gastronomique , Vice Conseiller Culinaire Du Bailliage
National de Chine; creator of Swiss-Bread (Beijing)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Train - Marry Me
Forever can never be long enough for me
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies
And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies
And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm
No One Falls In Love By Choice
No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by work.
No one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.
~ a repost from http://thehousecat.blogspot.com
No one stays in love by chance, it is by work.
No one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.
~ a repost from http://thehousecat.blogspot.com
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Quote of the Day from Emily Griffin
Here is a beautiful quote from one of the books that I just finished reading the other day:
AMEN.
"Love is the sum of the choices we make, the strength of our commitments and the ties that bind us together."
~ Emily Griffin, Love The One You're With
AMEN.
Funny! - Health worker demonstrates safe sex
iNewsbreak | January 21, 2011 |
Angeles City, Philippines - From being identified in the 2003 IHBSS as the number one site for HIV infection, Angeles City is no longer in the top three despite being the "entertainment capital of the Philippines."
The secret: strict monitoring of those involved in the "entertainment" industry and creativity. Here, a local health worker demonstrates a technique on how to get around the usually difficult negotiation process between clients and sex workers over condom use. --- Video taken by Ana Santos for Newsbreak
The video is part of a SPECIAL REPORT series by Ana Santos produced under the Maggie de Pano Fund for Investigative Reporting on Health. The Fund, which is managed by Newsbreak, is funded through a grant from Macare Medicals, Inc.
The secret: strict monitoring of those involved in the "entertainment" industry and creativity. Here, a local health worker demonstrates a technique on how to get around the usually difficult negotiation process between clients and sex workers over condom use. --- Video taken by Ana Santos for Newsbreak
The video is part of a SPECIAL REPORT series by Ana Santos produced under the Maggie de Pano Fund for Investigative Reporting on Health. The Fund, which is managed by Newsbreak, is funded through a grant from Macare Medicals, Inc.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Confidence - Dilbert.com Blog
Confidence is a good thing, right? Everyone wants confidence. It makes you more attractive to others. It helps your performance. It makes you feel good about yourself. It allows you to set high goals. It's good stuff.
It's also an illusion.
The reality is that there are only two conditions you can be in. You can either have an accurate view of your own abilities or an inaccurate view. Confidence is similar to will power in the sense that neither of them exists and yet society is quite certain they do.
Will power isn't a real thing because humans simply act based on the greatest impulse in their brains at the moment. The guy who can best resists eating cupcakes is the one who enjoys them the least, or is the least hungry. Will power never enters into the equation. It is a rationalization after the fact.
Confidence and will power feel as if they are real things because we have words to describe them, and we usually agree when the words apply. That's why the illusion is so persistent. If the words didn't exist, I don't think the illusions would be so troublesome.
I came to this view of because people insist on viewing my various behaviors through the framework of confidence. When I have a realistic view of my ability to do some particular task well, I am labeled confident, as opposed to simply accurate. When I predict that I would be below average at some particular task, based on years of knowing myself, I am labeled unconfident when in fact I am simply right or wrong. Where does confidence come in?
Suppose a drug existed that could give you the sensation of confidence independent of your actual ability to perform tasks. Would that be a good thing? Actually, we know the answer to that question because the drug is alcohol and it kills 37,000 people per year in automobiles alone, just in the United States.
But what about the self-fulfilling nature of confidence, you ask? Doesn't the feeling of confidence sometimes make you perform better? A confident public speaker, for example, is a better speaker. A confident quarterback will make better decisions, and so on.
I would argue that in some cases your performance can be enhanced by generating in yourself just the right amount of illusion about your own performance. A quarterback might imagine himself able to throw the perfect pass 100% of the time in order to succeed half of the time. He would be using confidence as a useful illusion because it keeps his energy in balance after some bad misses.
Generating a temporary illusion of confidence in yourself can be a good thing so long as you are aware of what you're doing. The quarterback needs to understand that he's just using a trick to pump up his performance. Otherwise he'd feel like a failure for completing only half of his passes.
Confidence is an illusion, but a useful one.
It's also an illusion.
The reality is that there are only two conditions you can be in. You can either have an accurate view of your own abilities or an inaccurate view. Confidence is similar to will power in the sense that neither of them exists and yet society is quite certain they do.
Will power isn't a real thing because humans simply act based on the greatest impulse in their brains at the moment. The guy who can best resists eating cupcakes is the one who enjoys them the least, or is the least hungry. Will power never enters into the equation. It is a rationalization after the fact.
Confidence and will power feel as if they are real things because we have words to describe them, and we usually agree when the words apply. That's why the illusion is so persistent. If the words didn't exist, I don't think the illusions would be so troublesome.
I came to this view of because people insist on viewing my various behaviors through the framework of confidence. When I have a realistic view of my ability to do some particular task well, I am labeled confident, as opposed to simply accurate. When I predict that I would be below average at some particular task, based on years of knowing myself, I am labeled unconfident when in fact I am simply right or wrong. Where does confidence come in?
Suppose a drug existed that could give you the sensation of confidence independent of your actual ability to perform tasks. Would that be a good thing? Actually, we know the answer to that question because the drug is alcohol and it kills 37,000 people per year in automobiles alone, just in the United States.
But what about the self-fulfilling nature of confidence, you ask? Doesn't the feeling of confidence sometimes make you perform better? A confident public speaker, for example, is a better speaker. A confident quarterback will make better decisions, and so on.
I would argue that in some cases your performance can be enhanced by generating in yourself just the right amount of illusion about your own performance. A quarterback might imagine himself able to throw the perfect pass 100% of the time in order to succeed half of the time. He would be using confidence as a useful illusion because it keeps his energy in balance after some bad misses.
Generating a temporary illusion of confidence in yourself can be a good thing so long as you are aware of what you're doing. The quarterback needs to understand that he's just using a trick to pump up his performance. Otherwise he'd feel like a failure for completing only half of his passes.
Confidence is an illusion, but a useful one.
Friday, January 7, 2011
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