Josh @ 6 months

Where did the time go?  It seems like I just gave birth a few days ago and my baby is half a year old now!  Time really flies so fast, and no matter how much we want it to stop, just for a minute, just for a second...it won't.  So it's best to cherish each and every moment that we have.

I never thought becoming a mom would impact my life so much... physically, mentally, emotionally.  

Childbirth was probably the most painful thing that I have ever experienced.  It was really excruciating, but also the most rewarding.  I didn't know that my body was capable of doing so much, and now I have a healthy baby boy to be thankful for.  Breastfeeding was probably the most frustrating thing that I had to go through, but also the most selfless and giving thing I have ever done in my life.  The sleepless nights, the hormonal turmoil, the cracked nipples, painful clogged ducts, and even the fact that most shirts didn't fit me properly made me just want to cry and quit.  But with the support and encouragement of our pediatrician and my husband, I was able to do it fully till my son was 5 months old, and still do it partially now.

My son Josh is now 6 months old and he's able to do so much.  From being a little, helpless and soft baby who is so dependent on me for all of his needs, he is nowstarting to show his personality and independence.  Josh has been a blessing to me and my husband.  He has been a very easy baby to take care of...seldom cries and smiles a lot.  A simple greeting from mommy or his Yaya Ruby can elicit a smile from him.  And laughter from people can send him into fits of giggles as well.  Hearing him laugh is just pure joy, because you know that there is no other reason behind it but contentment and wanting to hear the sound of happiness.  He can also rollover now and I think he's staring to learn to crawl as well.  Sooner or later, he'll be able to sit up on his own and start walking.  I wish he could stay this cute forever, but seeing him grow up also fascinates me.  It never ceases to amaze me that this perfect creature and miracle came from me and my husband.  I can't wait to hear him start calling us "Mommy" and "Daddy".

Rod and I are doing really well as first time parents.  We learn along the way, but I love my husband more today than I did when we got married.  I have learned a lot from him and about him the past two years that we have been together.  He has been very supportive of me every step of the way.  During my pregnancy, he took really good care of me ...from making sure that I took my fruits and vegetables everyday, to accompanying me to every hospital and doctor's visit, to being with me in the delivery room to help me welcome our baby into this world.  When I decided that I needed to go back to work after giving birth, he made it so easy for me by supporting me to buy an expensive breast pump, so that I can still continue breastfeeding even though I am at work.  I have also learned how patient he is because he knows how to handle my crying jags and unreasonable fits.  I blame it all on my hormones, but he has always been there to wipe my tears away and listen to me even if I am not making any sense.   And he even supports my bag and shoe habit!!!!  What more can a girl ask for?  

Now that we have a child, I am sure that Rod will be as good a father as he is a husband.  I know that he will teach Josh how to be a loving, God-fearing, honest and strong man that he is.  As for me, I just hope that Josh grows up to be a good and happy man, who realizes how fortunate he is to have two parents who love him very much, grandparents who adore him, and an extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) who will be there to love and support him as they watch him grow up and learn the ways of the world.

Welcome to the world Josh, Mommy and Daddy loves you!

Another day in bed.  Today I’m officially 24 weeks.

I thought being on bed rest would be sheer heaven, days and days of doing nothing.  Not until I was actually put on it.  I can’t even go down to have my meals anymore.  I’m only allowed bathroom privileges like going to the toilet and taking a shower.  Other than that, I’m stuck in bed, and I take my meals in bed.   

And with the long endless hours that I spend in bed, you can’t help but have all these thoughts and worries. 

I worry that I won’t be able to carry our baby to term. 
I worry that with all the medication I am taking right now, that our baby will be affected and not be healthy. 
I worry that I will have an emergency and I won’t have any way to contact Rod to take me to the hospital. 
I worry about all the work that I have left behind in the office. 
I worry that I won’t be able to cope with the pain of labor. 
I worry that I won’t get better and I will be on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy.
I worry that my husband would get sick and tired of me and just leave me all alone.
I worry that I won’t be a good mother.

Being on bed rest is very isolating and it can be depressing.  You feel so all alone and you just wait for the time to pass you by.  The television and your laptop become your best friends.  The most exciting time of my day is when I hear the gate opening and I know that my husband is home.  How pathetic is that?  You also feel like you are sick with some grave disease because people tend to stay away and keep their distance.  Seems like they don’t want to catch whatever is bothering you. 

In spite of all these worries and sadness that I am feeling, I am still thankful and happy about some things.

I am thankful for the time that I get to spend on my own so that I can get some much needed rest.     
I am happy when I feel my baby kicking me hard in my belly.  This reassures me that he is growing fine and healthy.
I am happy because every uneventful day that I spend in bed means that I am a day closer to delivering a healthy baby.
Most of all, I am thankful that my husband is still very malambing and very caring.  He takes very good care of me and never fails to tell me and show me that he loves me very much.

That’s all for today.  Later.

Honey, two lines....

After being married for 8 months, we are finally pregnant.  The last 4 months have been a roller coaster ride for me and Rod.  A lot of stress, tears, as well as joy and laughter.

Finding out that I was pregnant was definitely a surprise for us.  Rod and I decided to wait for a few months after we got married before trying for a baby.  We still had a lot of things to do, and we still needed to move into our new house, so we decided to wait till we move in before getting to work, so to speak. 

We officially moved into our house on August 4, 2007.  Moving was an experience in itself.  I learned how OC my husband can be when it comes to the cleanliness of our home, and how disorganized he can be when putting away his clothes and other junk.  In short, I had to be the one to put all of his clothes into the closet.  Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to finish it in a week!

Adjusting into a new routine was a good exercise for us.  We had to establish new times to wake up to get ready for work, time to come home so that we can have dinner together, new times for Rod to get some exercise into his routine, and time for us to do our weekly grocery shopping.  We also had to “break-in” our new maid with our requirements and with our own quirks.  We also had to establish our finances and who had to pay the bills on time.

We officially found out that we were pregnant when I was thinking of going to visit a gynecologist for a routine checkup, and it suddenly dawned on me that I haven’t had my period in a while.  I was a bit worried about it because I’ve never had this before.  I decided to ask Rod to buy me a home pregnancy test so that we can both find out, before visiting the doctor.

When I tried the home pregnancy kit the first time, I couldn’t believe my eyes when two purple lines popped up!  I told Rod to buy me another kit just to be sure.  Rod was cooler about it than me, but lo and behold, the second test also came out positive.  So off we went to the doctor’s office for my first prenatal checkup.

My obstetrician / gynecologist is Dr. Anita Poblete.  She’s the same OB that my cousins go to so I was relaxed when I first visited her.  She’s also very accommodating and has very light hands, so the dreaded speculum and internal exams are not so bad.  Our first visit did confirm that I was pregnant at about 6 weeks.  Both our families were ecstatic about the news.  Only thing I was bummed about was I had to cancel our trip to Bali for Ros and Mark’s wedding.

The first trimester of my pregnancy had been uneventful.  I can say it was a textbook case as I experienced the occasional queasiness, food aversions, frequent urination, general sleepiness and fatigue.  I could sleep for hours, there was even a time that I slept for 12 straight hours and took a nap in the afternoon on top of that!  After getting through the first trimester, I thought things will be a breeze after that, but boy was I wrong!

My fourth month started out as uneventful as the previous months, but on my 20^th week, I experienced some slight spotting.  This got me worried and I had to go to the delivery room, as my OB was sick on the day that I experienced the spotting.  Gosh, the whole experience was so stressful.  The resident OB had to do a speculum and internal exam on me and it was so painful!  The doctor advised me to go on bed rest for a week and I was also prescribed Duvadilan, an anti-contraction medication.  Dr. Poblete told me that the reason I might be bleeding was because the baby’s position was upside down and his kicking was causing the pressure on my cervix.  After one week of bed rest, I was allowed to go back to work and some light activities.

I’m now on my 23^rd week 6 days, and I am back on bed rest again for 2 weeks this time.  I had some bleeding again last Sunday and I was told that I had a cervical polyp which is causing the spotting.  I was prescribed some antibiotics and a vaginal suppository to stop the bleeding and also to ward off infection.

I never thought pregnancy can be this hard.  If it were this hard, how come so many people still give birth to so many babies?  Look at Chinaand their 1 billion population!?!  And all people can tell you is either to take care, or “ang hina mo naman”, or “it’s going to be ok.”

I have to continue this tomorrow, my husband is home and it’s time for dinner.